My husband was helping me with a Cosplay, and I couldn't remember the word, so I asked him for some "Shoe Ziplock."
I meant "velcro."

Some excerpts from my inspirational leadership last week (or, "What I say when I don't plan too much what to say"):

"Well, that's just tears under the spilled milk."

"Don't shoot yourself in the foot to spite your face."

I couldn't remember the game "Assassin's Creed," so I told my husband to play "Ninja Knight Who Hops Up Buildings."

Same thing.

I couldn't think of "Philip Morris," so I told my friend my conspiracy theory that the Anti-Smoking Campaign was being targeted by Wilson Phillips.

Hang on for one more smoke!

Trying to summarize the plot for "Argo" to a friend, and I couldn't remember the word "embassy." All I could come up with was "Ambassador house."

I just called "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade": "Legends of Indiana...The Hidden Temple."

Tyler: Paul McCartney was in the East Coast feed of "30 Rock," but West Coast got someone else.
Lauren: Let me guess. Art Garfunkel.
Tyler: Paul McCartney, not Paul Simon.
Lauren: Oh, yeah. As in Simon and Garfunkel.